[amethyst rainstar]

2006-05-03T22:57:00.000+08:00

Zzzz.. i haf no idea wads happenin to me, around me. i woke up in a daze. all i can feel is the excruciating pain in my head nd this blindin white "sky" as if i am exposed to the full explosion of a flashbang. am i in heaven?.. nahh i deduced. i nvr do so many good tings when im alive to deserve it. Lol. i laugh at this stupid thot. after a few mins, the light dims and i found myself starin at the ceilin. dirt. spider webby. nvr had i known my room was in SUCH a mess. so is my life. haha. so anywae i take todae as wednesday. got a check up by sum doc. no problem with me. the whole tingy jus took like 2 mins of my life. meaningless. wad i sayin?! i tink nobody can unds. !@#$!#%@#%^

*************

speechless..

-devilxiv

2006-05-01T23:34:00.000+08:00

the loss of your angel's wings leaves me in sorrow..

am i able to carry this pain til the future tomorrow?..

you're so far yet you're like so near..

can this shifting distance be part of my fear?..

____________________________________________________________________

"lets not talk about this." said someone who i cant looked at. my head jus wun tilt up to take event the slighest peek. the voice resembled a female someone whom i know. can it be her? my eyes too paralysed by the dusty brown spot on my shoe. it is time to get a new pair. unknowingly i stood up. jus then i realise the beautiful sunset across me. i took no comfort from it. i can hear a sniff or two. everytime i turned to look at her, i wake up from this partial nitemare. i have to know who is she. this dream has been flashin frequently these few nights. guilty? no idea. i hated this. i pulled up my blnket tryin to get myself to sleep. i turned and stole a glance of my alarm clock. it flickered in lime green, showin me three digits.. 3:00am. damn. wad a way to start a saturday morning. i loathe how this keep happenin to me. i mumbled some swear and counted somewhat a thousand plus sheep before i blacked out.. the dream never appeared again. however by now, i can vividly imagine the scene out. dang.. (to be continued)

*************

chapter one.. decided to start a life biography. comments~

-devilxiv

2006-04-22T23:26:00.000+08:00

on a night when arsenal drew with spurs..

toon legend gonna sit out the next 3 matches..

bolton thrashed charlton four goals to one..

ac milan closed gap while juve slipped..

soccer, a beautiful game is played..

the same time i heard insults hurled at me..

more misunderstandings occurred..

someone callin someone else morbid..

frenship broken and formed..

relationship, a emtional game is played..

two different games..

two different methods of playing..

stil, theres onli one ending..

one gonna get hurt..

the other gonna be gloating..

____________________________________________________________________________________

haha.. i nvr say u are a tomboy kk? dun malign me. indeed, i haf alot of feelings bottled up inside me. not conveniently erased nor easily understood. we all wear disguises, ours and those that are imposed on us. theres no use hiding, we will get caught eventually. around me lies people wearing halo covering their horns. all their black hearts i dun see hurt me unconsciously. someimes i despair. wondering wad to do. wandering about.

no use changin it tho. i admit relishin the thot of victory. able to excel in every single ting i do pleases me. i dun mind bein isolated because i gloated. i jus dun wan to get hurt. all the insults, all the negatives jus dun firghten me anymore. mayb im stronger or isst im becum void of all these crap. loneliness i feel everynight. depression finds me fortnightly. throw a beast in this situation and no doubt he will be strong. mentally wise that is. physically there's hard to say. ran anotehr 6 plus km in the rain todae. is tiem i let rain wash all my sins away. i enjoy it. momentarily i feel that the world revolves around me. the ideal-i image appears before me. am i dreamin. no, i hope so. yet as the rain pours, drenched in a mixture of rain n sweat, i woke up. the traffic lights nvr turned red because i wanted to cross. the cars dun stop because i am there. the perfect world is shattered. i dint cry. cant admit defeat because of this minor incident. i can change the world i can.

without purpose, i carried on. my eyes hardly seemed dry now. the boy that had a perfect plan to be in command of the world walked on. if i had done every mistake differently, not makin any. will the world recognise me? i yearned for a second jus to escape. escape from reality? noo. escape from pain? noo. wad do i wan to escape from? u ask me. i will stil stare at u blankly. even after ten years, twenty even til the last breath i hold before my death. it remains something unknown. mayb that is my purpose in life. to unravel the secret. to fidn the truth. to gain the enlightment everyone desired. even lance armstrong can be a 7 time tour de france winner after cancer. power of the body i hardly tink so. the ability of one's mind can never b looked down. i jus wann be free. free from the tings dat chased me. i vowed to be. made up my mind to change the world.

now i sit back in my chair. pondering. minimisin my msn and maximisin it. slowly one by one from 30+ conacts online they disappear. even then, im tokin to none. slowly i see time trickled away as i took a glimpse at the bottom right screen. it reads 12:47pm. 12:48am..12:49am soon it hit 1:00am. one hour into the new day. another 11 hours to go before another fresh leash of life. hard to achieve? nto really. considering the eleven hours includes slp, muggin for tests, and homework. wad seem soo long is actualli slow. indeed time flies. flies to where? no idea. to me tme jus cycles. goin round and roudn and round. makin endless journeys. causing people liek u and i to be frustrated. inventors to die with regrets of not makin time reversing machines. matheticians to leve with no idea how to calculate the end of time. yeah. is true. everyone dies. time is the culpirt. dun blame illness. it never worked that way.given ample time scientents can alwaes cum up with a cure for the common flu.may it be a htousand years.if time stall, nobody will die.

i will end it here.. time is catching me up. forcin me to slp. 6 hrs and i will b muggin agn. spare me a break. for all i need is time~

may God bless all..

**************

they took a glance and saw a boy. nvr gave him the chance to b unique. i wil never forget..

-devilxiv

2006-04-20T19:42:00.000+08:00

It's quite long wad.Considering that it's not very short.Hah.Thanks for the 'compliment' ah.Want to suan me oso do it so explicitly with the connotations.At least leave some face for me mah..After all i can be tomboyish and crazy all sorts of stuffs.Wadeva way you want to name it.But still i am 100% girl 0.o.Scientifically proven.And you know why i am more of guy?Mrs lim says that even girls have testosterones as well.-.-...All girls btw.Needless to say, guys oso have oestrogen.Kinda weird but it's true.So that's the explanation for my tomboyishness haha.

Well at least for me things have kinda settled down.But for you ah..think like you have a lot of bottled up feelings in within.You gave me a small piece of advice, so it's my turn to give you one too.Learn to take things easy=) Seems like you have a lot of high expectations and goals set for yourself--dats good.Because you have a goal to achieve and you will set yourself to work hard for it.But the process is more important than the result itself.So wadever you do,the main priority isnt to win but to give your best and having no regrets later.I am the more of the happy-go-lucky kind now.In the past probably i used to be compeititive as well,not wanting to fall back too far behind of others.Then after some time i realised that so much for all the worries and working oneself to death.All that remains is fatigue.And tired of life.Life holds more important things other than results and certificates.True it may dawn on us that reality is harsh and cruel--if we are not the cream of the crop or the top of the elite,then we face the threat of being eliminated.That's why we are working so hard for our future; yet in all the midst of confusion and rush, have we learnt to take a step back and accept the things whichever they turn out?Have we missed out the fun and good things bout life?Here's a food for thought.

lol.I love to talk so much.During the past 1 week kangqi and mingshuan were enjoying themselves at italy--leaving me and phamelia here in Singapore listening to the monotonous drone of the teachers.Ok that's a bit of an exaggeration.Most of the lessons were fun lah.Especially maths,chinese,bio,chem.English lessons were always slack wif mrs vora around.Cos of the english presentations..quite cool.Ours was animal abuse and we showed footage on how dolphins were slaughtered etc.Totally grossed out my class peeps.N just b4 the lesson started, david gave phamelia a few dead spiders he found on the locker.And phamelia was so excited.She lay those carcasses on her hand and left it on her table.Freaked out yanling and eunice who were sitting in front of her.Should any misadventure occur, the prospect of the spiders being blown over were simply too unbearable for them to take it.Everyone was like laughing over this.Some were shocked-some were in disbelief.Others were tickled.Actually it wasnt that bad lah.Come on.I even dissected a dead beetle b4.It's a shame.You know the shiny green colour was quite nice you know.haha.

oh wells.Better get to work soon.MEP practicals coming up.next week chinese test but next next week is gg to be a killer.Physics geog and bio.Wth.Nvm tmr i shall wake up early and knock on phamelia's door in the morning.Kq and ms would be dere too.Getting free 'tuition' from us.lol.

-what is this life full of care, if there's no one to stand and stare?-

ting^_^

2006-04-17T22:32:00.000+08:00

dats not a very long post. Lolx. no title for today. rushin for time. to do wad?.. mug for my chem which is gonna take place in about less than 8hrs. Lolx. and for ur info, im not that SIMPLE. hahax. why im hyper that day was cause i get to play pool and go to the concert with my "beautiful" blog partner. hahaha. so yea.. dats for the explantion part.

long time since i haf blogged too. too caught up with the harsh reality about marks and competition to succeed in life. all those talks about acedemic nt being so impt and attitude takin a higher priority jus seem so fake. dun feel like rattlin on and on about marks. so yea, mayb it is reali an approriate time for me to start muggin like everyone else is.

jus a small advice to blog partner, take things in ur stride. many a times when u wish sumting to disappear, and it did disappear, u will miss it. treasure wadeva the frenship u haf now kk? haha. duno wad to blog. haf lots to say. yet nobody to realli confide in. dun realli feel comfortable writin it all down here. haix. do u define this mixed emotions as stress? depression? or sum other weird feeling that stil lies undefined in the world? Lol.

after re-readin wad i haf wrote above, i cant help but admired the messiness of it. no aim. no goal, no draft. this is a result. mayb dats life. indeed, life has no draft. deres never a second chance. im not opposin those hefty commericals abt second chances. well dats true too. but can anyone forget sumting u haf done so wrong? can they realli look at u with the same innocent look dat their eyes possessed? definitely in some way or another, those million stares u get from them, those spying glares dat follow ur every move will linger on. their rumors abt ur past mistakes, ur past action will jus be spoken of. never forgotten, never given a secodn chance to repent. probably so, i haf learnt to consider my future seriously. realisin that marks are EVERYTING. when can our society realli accept the real u beneath those one-sided facade. mayb i shldnt use the word one-sided. mask is indeed unchangeable, but facade esp on humans, varies. dependin for who, when and where, this funny ting jus changes.

i myself admit hiding behind a mask. theres no way, i can imagine, myself openin up. those vacant stares jus eyed me suspiciously, am i up to no good? they can never relate me to the word nice. dats wad happen when u did too many tings. for those soab to rumor about. they nvr tok good behind ur back. backstabbin. typical of ppl around me.

wadeva. im sick of this life. may it be gone in a flash! ARGH..

anyway thanks dad for helpin me fix my room. Lol.

peace out. may God bless all..

***********

"thank you" for seein my biggest weakness and exploited like the !#%!@ you are!

-devilxiv

2006-04-14T23:14:00.000+08:00

Here i am going to type a damn long post.Name it as venting or just merely penning down my thoughts.Doesnt really matter.

So i have daoed her for 1month straight.True i forgiven her once.But that thing triggered it off again.Then poof..I really blasted.And just strodded out off the classroom liddat.The next day during pe she asked me to go pei her and she starts asking me all the questions again.E.g cliche questions such as: What have i done wrong?can we just talk it out?I mean like pls lah.Talking it out doesnt solve all problems.The problem is just dere.And somethings can never be solved by just merely 'talking it out'.And i'd wished you would look at things more than just the surface.Grow up please.Don't ever try to be so weak and fragile in front of me..cos my heart will never melt like this.If you think that things can really be solved that easily then you are ever so wrong.You win friends with your attitude and your character.Not because we pity you.Cos friendship is supposed to built on trust.Not on pity.

What is it bout you that freaks us out?firstly can you just be independent and less clingy for once?You cant depend on ppl around you too much.During practicals i mean you can at least try and understand what the practical is about.Do you know that you're asking 101 questions?We will help but we arent machines.Hey we are people who will get irriated after a while.Summore the questions u ask are quite..It's like right after the teacher talk bout it then you will ask again and again the same question.Pls lah.Idunno what's wrong but can you like be more confident of yourself etc?It's not only bout asking questions.Alot of other things.Can you like pls be more independent?Trust me.No one likes to be clinged onto tightly by another person.And can you be more decisive as well?we all know that you got eating problems.So we are trying to help you.But if you dowan to eat then how can we help you at all?It's you the one who ask us to help you gain weight etc.But then later you regret and keep refusing to eat.What kind of logic is this?If you're even unwilling to even try and change then we cannot do ath oso wat..argh.

Dere's like so much things to pen down.But precisely there's too much of it and i dunno even where to really start from.So just leave it at that.hmm..went wid my blog partner to the dhssb concert in the afternoon.Lol but i figured it was kinda too early.Turned out in a funny way that we all went there in a group after all.And he's happie n hyper bout that as well.haha.This just shows that he's SIMPLE and easy to satisfy.That's what he claims.Ahem.Actually good thing his frens turn up if not later is i pangseh him.zzz.And band rocks.Especially the alumni band.This time is different from the past years.I think is cos of the alumni and stage band that strikes the contrast.thEn me and gwen were quite crazy haha.And we decided tt our future bfs must know how to play the saxophone.Gwen said there's someone on the stage who can play the clarinet,bandset,saxophone etc.And thats DESMOND NG.hahahaha..But she says he's too old.If not she will sure marry him one.woots.quite true lah.Sun lu's saxophone so nice until it literally melts my heart.Seriously if my future bf plays saxophone to me i might just say yes to his proposal(if he asks)hahahahah..oh man.Keep on dreaming gal.

man.I really can crap a lot.i better keep my mouth shut now.Talk so much.hahah tata.

ting

2006-04-05T23:17:00.000+08:00

Til i come round

254242. 532663. 123456. 09876. Numbers that throw me in limbo. Sumtym, i reliase that i cant possibly communicate with sumone jus by means of numbers. the likes of communication thru hp numbers, thru sms-es, thru home humbers, thru calls -- cannot never show and express the real feelings hidden behind the lines. one may be lyin thru their teeth for all u know!

i thot i could sort out my thots by 1st of april. and i did. but when i tried to contact u, u werent there. for a zillion of times, it has been liek that. are u playin a game of hide n seek with me? im sick of it. i m tried of chasing u. u may be fallin for another guy. however, at least we cld sort things out. now i lack the courage to msg u. to see u. to talk to u. ur presence gives me breathing difficulties. i duno wad to do. my reflex was to let out a sigh. a sigh devoid of feelings.

Mayb im indeed stil unsure abt the definition of love. u were nvr there when i nid u. u nvr inititate a convo. u nvr say hi. u jus pretend im invisible. yet many a times, i try to put myself in ur shoes. i dun tink i will do any of those. frightened, cowardice? mayb.. more likely to be scared. fear of rejection. i hate committment. detest the thot of being bonded. holdin mi down does not please me. but im willin to gif it a try if u will jus reply me. damn the world.

wadeva it is, i seriously cant get a grip of myself.

DAMNIT~

*************

Choices of 3. Fantasy of 2. Love of 1.

-devilxiv

2006-04-01T14:38:00.000+08:00

heh.Let's countdown to 33 weeks=D. And we will be out of this pit.Let's play to our bottoms after that---This is our pact.

oh well.Long time havent blogged le.Later gg for co concert.But i guess it doesnt hurt to be online.Every week oso test and testssss...argh crap.haha.Oh here's a piece of news..Yesterday PR was giving MS a bouquet of flowers after the choir concert.NOTE: A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS.ahem.(do i have to make it more explicit?)But as to whether there's stiu anything gg on between them i realli dunno.They are really tight lipped bout it.haha.kkk shhh...later she come kill me

after so long things went back to place.But then again i think it's just a matter of compromise.Probably we are not the kind to click- or it's just that i am more insensitive.But i dun really think too much into it.It's not really my responsibility or problem in the first place.All the questions that come thronging..please just let things be.Somewhat in a way or another things will just return to normal.(maybe not so normal)

bahz.anyway...gotta go off already.Time to get ready to leave..tata.

p.s i dowan be late.

-ting

2006-03-04T00:45:00.000+08:00

ARGHHH~

okay, this is like another one of those crappy days. three trngs have passed and no improvements haf been shown. i m reli tinkin if i chasin his shadow, something that i will nvr be able to do not now neither in the near future. my future jus seem so bleak all of a sudden. den came another blow, miss beautiful. haix i duno wad to say. shld i be sayin like at last after 2mnths and 27days, i master up enuff courage to say hi. but to my disappointment, she was liek so bored. i jus cant seem to get her attention. i jus hope dat we cld at least be frens. and she dint went tuition todae. all because the cher she duzen need to attend for three weeks! mind eu three WHOLE weeks! i duno how am i gona survive this. haix. jus hope everytign turn out fine. i realli wan to ask her out for a movie. but i dun reali dare.

so ya, haven been able to be myself lately, all the nothingness jus seem to be impossibles, and stress jus continue piling up high in my brain. even my temper went haywired. inside my heart, the walls start to crumble, i cant breathe now more, jus wish that this grip of fear and anxiety to improve can be loosen. i relli cant tke it anymore, jealousy breeds hatred and hatred breeds anger. haix. shld i be less mindful abt this small matter about chasin up to my dream. coz people ard me are sayin im over reactin and theres no need to work so hard.. coz i can nvr win him. haix. so as the date comes nearer, my time for improvement decrease.. duh~ oh wellz, all nonsense ):

***********

254242. baby pls dun ignore me!

-devilxiv

2006-02-26T00:08:00.000+08:00

my bloggin style seems to be weirder and weirder. and thansk for the wishes. but i have lost again by a stupid scoreline. period. one more month to train and prove to everyone that i aint playin a fool. gona haf a comeback with a big bang. peace out den. too frustrated to poem.

************

of all the things i've lost, i miss you the most.. sigh

-devilxiv

2006-02-24T22:59:00.000+08:00

wahzzzz...let's see.So long i didnt blog.And i am finally back half-beaten as well as half-dead.After slogging through all the tests.Finally.muahaha.

At least yesterday we had a day of rest.No mep!Then today come sch late but i was kind of saved by rajaratnam...very slack day 2dae cos the 93.8 live radio show actually took up bout 2hours of the curriculum time.Today's topic was:Should secondary education prepare you for university or for life?And it turned out ok lah.Best part is i get to miss maths and physics and i dun have to speak though was 'lucky' to be picked.yawns.Just so sianz...

n i managed to scrape though my se workshop today--standing in front of a sea of blue and white;all puffed up and ready to play something horrendous on the viola.Didnt turn out as bad though---they said it was ok.So i can just heck la.Funny part was bout last min getting to play piano accompaniment for me.Must really thanks liying for running round to get ppl to help me play for me and also for trying to play for me;as well to wynne for ultimately playing for me in the end.So it all ends with a nice finale.

haiya.i oso dunno y i am typing all crap for now.Jm been playing for tournaments and stuffs.So good luck to you and may you achieve your goals=D.And also thanks for keeping the blog alive.I dunno how long i have been stagnant---but i know it's quite long.I am the guilty one.Paiseh k?and jiayou for your make up tests etc.noe you can do it de.

guess wad?i am addicted to chrono trigger.Whee

2006-02-24T00:00:00.000+08:00

Frustration

hate to admit this. but my life's over. im gettin nowhere with this physique. lack of talents. lack of skills. im jus an average boy. will u spare me the insult and let me go?

my day has come. i fear it is too late. too late to retreat. i haf done the right kind of wrong. but all i get was this big criticism that i was too unreasonable. i tried. i did try my best.

i work harder to make myself worthy of bein ur partner. ur dazzling skills is far above mine, i dun wana be blamed for causin the loss. i strived. i persevered. yet i stil failed.

my life jus collapsed. my heart stop beating. i can no longer breathe. leaving this horrendous world for a carefree one seem so practical. i dun wana be under ur shadow anymore.

the energy to break free from ur clutches nvr appeared. was it my fault? the more i tried to struggle free, the tighter ur grip become. i cant escape. im always behind eu.

so in the end, i chose to take my own life. i guess eu are delighted that ur burden has left for good. i will haf no regrets for the world has no place for a loser like me.

vexeddisappointmentormented!

-devilxiv

2006-02-19T22:36:00.000+08:00

it jus jumps back to the question yet again. who am i? an average boy. a dumb lover. an ambitious dreamer. do i haf wad it takes to like eu? to fall in love with eu? to be even ur secret admirer? i doubt so.i seroiusly felt so. "friends are all we can ever be" to me, this line is just too familiar. worse stil, "i onli treat and look up to eu as a brother" typical line. too common. yet it does hurt the most. i can stand next to eu, sit beside eu. even facing eu. but eu tok to everyone else. eu dint even notice me. i was gone for hours, did eu notice? dis worries me. if i ever say i love eu, will eu even hear it? i guess dats how my love alwes end. i dun haf the courage. i cant take a step out. i will stammer in front of eu. i jus act silly in front of eu. mayb thats all i ever do. kinda saddenin, come to tink of it. tell me wad to do, God..

(to be continued)

*sorry if it is kinda messy, i jus cant oraginse these thots porperly*

-devilxiv

2006-02-15T00:45:00.000+08:00

though i give it all i had. give it all the way. it never did return the favor. not even reimbursin my loss. but i felt this way before. the feelin is just too familiar. fear whisper me a lullaby. confusin wad is real. no time to decipher. too late to interpret it. felt so perfectly inscure. now i cant see. darkness seem to close in. i cant hold on. not any longer. everyone pushes me away. believin im some kind of incurable disease. whats wrong with them? or even better, wads wrong with me? am i not who i suppose to be? i tried and all i.. and all i wan was acceptance. it duzen haf to come in carriages. i jus wana feel it. Seein the sand trickle down the hour glass. reminds me of the ever dyin time. i dun wana know. i close my eyelids. sometimes. the thots i tink dun make sense. even to me. they jus crowd around my mind. makin me doubt abt reality. i waited for a miracle to occur. it never came. every dream inside my head was pulped to dust. i regret. regret being me.

cant eu see i nidta feel sumting else? other than pain. i wana be with eu in summer not jus in the cold freezin winter. like everyone else i nidta feel some love. from eu and the world. yet the world is cruel. and all of a sudden this came. an overwhelming emotion that even heaven duzen noe. quite impossible but yea, is true. i am sick of it. i am through. tryin to please eu. tryin to make this whole situation okay. fix it yourselves? i am sorry. i mean shld i even apologise for smth i dun even gif a damn for? wadeva. "sorry" for all i've done wrong. for the times i have screwed up. but dun eu ever see? i am also human. dun treat me like a bandaid. a dumb old plaster. throw me when eu are done with it.. i dun jus wana soak up ur blood when eu are hurt. i wana be there forever. eu may replaced me when im useless, why does he gets to soak up ur happiness too? haiz. nvmm guess im done being ur life supporting machine. gettin ignored once eu are fully healed. i dread it when eu are happy, eu alwaes forget me when eu do smile. i hate. hate being me.

(to be continued)

-devilxiv

2006-02-14T23:10:00.001+08:00

Happy Valentine Day..

To all those who care and love the world

To all those that are willing to share their joy

To all those in love with each other

To all those who are still single

May you all find dream gal/guy soon

***********

workin on a super long poem. haha lackin of inspirations tho. feel free to gif me ideas if eu read this post. haha peace out ppl. and i hereby wish all lovers and singles all the best in their lives!.. thank you to those who gif me presents!

***********

love the love, for the love moves eu..

-devilxiv

2006-02-14T23:10:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine Day..

To all those who care and love the world

To all those that are willing to share their joy

To all those in love with each other

To all those who are still single

May you all find dream gal/guy soon

***********

love the love, for the love moves eu..

-devilxiv

2006-02-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happie birthdae 2 Me

haha happie bdae to me yeah yeah yeah! haha swt 16. shld be a cause for celebrations.. but the feelin of happiness and anticipation is kinda low. haha duno why also, shld i be gald im older and supposedly more sensible? haix. but i am not. haha weird eh? well heres the aquarius boy's thots & wishes!

Wish no1: gona make a name for myself

Wish no2: stay happy

Wish no3: may everyone ard me be blessed

Wish no4: say "i love eu"

Wish no5: may my sista do well in Os

*************

Sad to say the devil's one year older.. (:

-devilxiv

2006-02-07T00:07:00.000+08:00

In short, she's my aquarius gal and i'm the aquarius boi!

Wow-wheeee! 2 more days to my bdae and 10 more to hers!

*************

RI guy and geraldine went out..Sad..

-devilxiv

2006-02-06T23:10:00.000+08:00

Aquarius guy:

Hot-hearted man who likes to do thing his way. He can suddenly decide to do something without thinking of it's outcome. He is the type of guy with an inside energizer, so if you fall in love with this type of guy be "patient", even if you have to follow him a bit. His creative mind could create fantastic idea any time. If you do not understand or can not follow him, you won't be with him for long. A man in this Zodiac will less likely to have a pale skin, and if he has a scar, it would be on his face or on his head. He moves very fast and very energetic, and he has a very self confident in himself. He is not the type to sit down and feel sorry or regret anything for long, especially with "Love". He loves justice. He dares to show his opinion or even argue about certain subject even he knows it might bring him problems. A straight forward type of guy. He hardly lies except if he think it is necessary and he is not a good liar anyway. He will not lie to you about serious matter, but if he lie he will lie only a small little thing. He is gifted with the ability to be a very social person. He could talk even about subject that he has no knowledge of. He interests only at the present time and look at the world positively. Many times he feels hurt because of reality, but he will not run away and he will overcome that difficulty. Even he is a high and self confident type and center his own thought as a main focus, but at the same time he is a kind, cute and polite guy. He certainly is not a mean person. He likes to help people who are in troubles even he is not asked to. He is the type who feels sorry if you remember bad things he said to you that he had already forgotten,but you did not. Belief him that he is very sorry and give him another chance. Once he decides to do something, he will put all his mind and energy in it either in his "Work", or "Love". He is the type who gamble anything in the casino, so do not even take him there. He does not like pessimistic, low energy, and depress person, especially no brain. Strangely he like to overpowered this type of people to assure that he is more superior. He like to be the first person to do something. You can see sparkling in his eyes, once he meet a new target or new lover. Once he is in love, he will act as if he never has love like this before. This minute he could be real sugar sweet, and later he could also be an icy cold, but do not blame him for that will only chase him away. He could fall in love again with another girl and act again like he never has this kind of love before.He could really love someone, but not a heart broken type for he thinks love is "excitement" and "Love goes on". If you date this kind of guy, do not or avoid showing your face to him with face pack, face mask, always be presentable, nice and cute. If he is quiet not because he is shy, but he is only quietly thinking. If you have a chance to ask his X-girlfriend, she will tell you that he is not a shy or quiet type. If he is really and truly in love with you, he will never lie to you at all. How do you know if he loves you, bet on your faith! Love him and treat him steadily and do not try to find anything to argue with him, he will be with you for sure. If you are his lover or girlfriend and need to tell him something, go and say it out loud and straight forward because he hate long boring story. He hate to play games, chasing for love or being chased, so let him call you first. He likes a confident woman who also a good follower. If he gets mad at you, let him be for only a short time he will be normal again. You have to like and be able to get along with his friends, but he does not have to do so with all your friends. Don't ever think you could make him jealous by flirting with other man, he will just leave instead of making a scene because he is a confident man and has to be the first in everything.

2006-02-06T23:06:00.000+08:00

Aquarius Girl:

If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to a guy in this zodiac. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed. Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find such person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do. She is a leader , a real confident type. She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door herself. Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that. If she starts to ask you out, do not think she starts to flirt with you, but because she thinks it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one who asked. She likes a COOL guy who sometime act like he is ignoring her, so he has a chance to show him his own confident. She like to guess her man's reaction, but at the same time she likes to has many men wanting her. She is a daring type who could just do thing differently from other people in her same society. She dare to fight for what she thinks belonged to her. Even she acts confident she mostly feel lonely and alone. If she breaks up with someone , she won't show any emotion even deep down inside pain and agony. Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person again, because she looks at the world positively and has "Faith" in the word "Love". She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guy. She loves "Freedom" so before and after marriage , her freedom has to be the same. She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow. She likes to be the one who is "Right", so if you argue with her , let her win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a straight forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you straight to your face. Her love and relationship are always real, so if she say "It's over" be prepare to leave, she is not testing you. She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she will survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly take care and look after you, even look after you mean "small loan". Do not have secret with her, she hates it and really can piss her badly. When she is sad , be understanding. When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes that. You will not get bore with this type of girl. Someone who is close to her will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted person, she is just as fragile as any woman. She is a fun and talkative person and she likes to tease you. Do not let she talk alone, if you do she will leave. She has many type of jobs because she beliefs what a man can do, I can do. If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in love, she will just leave her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long she will go back to work seriously again. Prepare to live and love with a "Working Woman" then you will be OK. If she mad, find a shelter for the "Hurricane" is here! Her bad temper will last very shortly though. She is not a revenge type and will not think of "pay Back" time. Most people might think of her as "One of a guy", but in fact she is a 100% woman. She is easily hurt, so be nice with her. If she really loves you, then you are lucky because she is an honest, truthful and will never bored you. Understand that sometimes she will be over confident and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.

2006-02-02T22:05:00.000+08:00

Untitled

Everyone's irritatin me. these stupid feelings sux. duno wad to say. stress. stress-es. and more stress-es-es.. lotsa of tings jus seem to occur at the same time in the upcoming weeks of feb. cca competition, two nus competitions, chi proj, geog proj, tests galore! totally crappish. well i duno whr my blog partner went either. and dat duzen kinda make me sad? i dun realli noe why in teh world am i feelin this.. this i-duno-wad feelin. all i noe is that it is kinda negative and hurtin me. all these tingy jus appear to be a heavy burden pullin em down, draggin me down to the dirts.

So in short, this week is not my kinda perfect. neither are the past weeks. haven been bloggin long either. neither is my blog partner. mayb is time we close this down.. i duno. life is hell.

************

Hear my heart beat in fear

-devilxiv

2006-01-23T23:40:00.000+08:00

41st blog entry

Haha.. I jus write this for the fun of writing.. Happy Bdae Lorna!

2006-01-22T23:31:00.000+08:00

Sumtym

Distance definitely dun make hearts grow fonder. I decide to leave eu to go on.. But on to where, im not sure. Everytime i see the light turns green, i go. Everytime i see the light turn red, i stop. With this mentality, i continued for a mile and another and another.. Soon, without me realisin, i was far faraway from my broken soul. Yet, i trust what i feel and sumtym i feel that i should turn back. Someting is holdin me back though. Is it my fear of being disappointed by ur words, the coldness of how eu treat me? I dun really know wad to do, but i guess there is no harm tryin to be frens with eu..

Time duzen heal wounds that's for sure. I know that it can be years later before eu realise i like eu. But time will jus be tuggin at the half completed seams until there is no longer a 'us'. The wound once again opened up for blood jus leak endlessly. I cant stand the pain. I know it mayb all over between us even b4 we can start bein frens. My wound has become a scab than a scar, fading behind the backdrop of my skin. Sumtym forgotten but ususally not..

I duno wad will happen in the near future, it may juz be another mile to ur heart or a hundred.. i dun really care now. Coz i know i cant jus forget eu with a flick of my fingers. Neither can eu be right by my side when i wish so.. All i ask for eu is not to deceive me, jus be a true fren and nothing more. Speak to me when eu are ready. I haf no reason to hide for the fact that i like eu is so true. I do shift my mood and attitude to fit my mood. Sometym it may jus be too blue to handle.

***********

Given the chance, I promise I will close my eyes to listen to ur heartbeat..

-devilxiv

2006-01-22T03:40:00.000+08:00

Well, your blog partner is here at 3.40am on a sunday morning..From your post seems like life isnt tat good for you?Chill.My life isnt exactly in shambles-but probably cos i was too cooped up with work to actually reflect and think about life.Alternating between school work and decor and a lot of other stuffs..i dun think i have ever sat down to ponder over the past events.Being busy may seem like you do not have enough time to yourself.The truth is you're enjoying and keeping yourself occupied.And somehow i find it more meaningful than lazing around doing nothing but browsing the net aimlessly.There are many things out there waiting for us to finish.We have dreams to fulfil.This may seem kind of funny.But i think mebbe you could try keeping yourself more occupied rather than abstinence from the net.Weird advice?

2006-01-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

Disappointment

Disappointment comes from daily events, from every small little thing eu do like writing a post to all the big stuff like makin a decision.. Any of these may result in a disappointment. and for me, it hits me exceptionally bad. Excluding the fact that i kinda screwed up my two tests in the week, i m even doin well in my cca. and that totally irks me. it pisses me off when i lose, when the ball scraped past the net and goes out, when my double partner and everyone else are quickly catchin up with me. Some even surpass me. The risk of bein dropped out is so hi. yet when given a chance to win someone i shld, i dint. not that anyone had hi hopes and expectations pinned on me, it is jus a matter of discipline eu may say i haf imply on myself. and today's result definitely disappoints me. My goal now is jus to improve much faster to prove someone wrong. i can be the best! this dream is kinda far off but it duzen hurt to dream alil at time. Now i cant even describe teh feelin within me, isst really disappointment or jus a crampy feelin i always haf when under serious stress and threat.. before figurin this out, i went for a run. a refreshin run right after cca. the onli ting that cld possibly understand me now, will be the wind that brushes past me, the sun that shines down on me and mayb mother nature swying her lush green hands from side to side. Help me, get past this stage of life. mus i go thru this once more?.. i haf experienced it b4 and it was certainly nt a brillant feelin. Arghh, this sux!

So wad am i doin now after all these shitty stuff. Blastin t.A.T.u. music max volume. Probably i know i am not the only one feelin so low, and it is true that two sad person cannot never convince each other outta their misery. it is kinda funny how it is done tho. esp when each of them faces problem which each of them tinks is a minor one compared to their own. haha.. i duno if eu understand the sentence.. but do i look like i care?.. i haf no idea where my blog partner went. but it is may jus be my last few posts. i am jus kinda frustrated at how tings are goin on in my life now that ppl suggest me takin a brek from teh internet.. haha good advice eh? So wdeva my final decision is, i wish eu-know-who all the best and takkaire. dun kip fallin ill and dun brood over such a matter too much.

Peace out! & happy bdaeZ Bro Col.

***********

Everytym this feelin surfaces

tears can jus flow

but eu will never know

coz when im around people

i dun let this show

Every night i ask myself why

why when i need eu, her or them

they are never to be seen

when eu ask me if im alrite

then i jus wana be transparent

Eu tink i like bein lyk this

Eu force me to be this fake

or rather harsh reality did

Even the rain has stopped

No gentle wind to push me

to take a closer look

of my distorted reflection

sad, broken and alone

Again the tears jus flow

addin more pain to the ruined

reflection jus fadin into ripples

starin at the oncomin wave

tryin to reach for me

Jus to fail miserably

it resembles my life

my flow of thots

my everyting

down

pls save me..

-devilxiv

2006-01-16T22:12:00.000+08:00

Coward Me

Everyting that i do there's no turnin back

Step by step i'd walk into a desert

Jus to see ur smile that catches me

Time continues crawlin on

There goes another day and another

I seem to be lost among the sands

Can eu help me find my way?

Is that ur silohoutte i discern

I make my way up the road ahead

Stil i cant see no end nor eu

It is after all a freakin mirage

Sooner or later, i will pass out

Where are eu when i need eu most

Quench my thirst with love, i beg eu

Am i desperate or haf i lost my marbles

But i got nothin but whats left in my heart

To repay ur kindness and my debt

Eu did took my breath away once

Mayb twice but never none

Wadeva it is, lead me outta here

Coz im lost in ur maze of beauty

Aka ur desert of pain for me, sigh

After all these, i ought to learn something

I never had eu, eu weren't mine but i was yours

Given the chance, i will hold eu safely in my arms

And never let eu go, listen to ur soul

Sadly, all stil remain my wishes, my dreams

Coz i haven got the courage to say 3 words

I love eu!

-devilxiv

2006-01-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

Newton's 3 laws of motion (remixed)

1st Law: Every object continues in its state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line unless resultant force acts on it to change its state..

Remixed: Every body continues in its state of rest (sleep) or uniform motion in a straight line (blind leading the blind -- follow blindly) unless a result-ant (usually bad results) force acts on him/her to change its state..

2nd Law: When a resultant force acts on an object of constant mass, an acceleration will result, with the product of its mass and acceleration equal to the resultant force, the direction of the acceleration being in the same direction as that of resultant force..

Remixed: When a result-ant force acts on somebody of constant mass, an acceleration will be shown in his/her result, with the product of his/her luck and determination equal to the result-ant force (good ones), the direction (leadin people now) of acceleration being same as that of resul-tant force..

3rd Law: If body A exerts a force F on body B, then body B exerts force of -F (of equal size but opposite direction) on body A..

Remixed: If gal A exerts a force (pressure) on boy B, then boy B exerts force of -F (of equal size but opposite direction) on gal A..

************

Todae, i started crammin for my results.. It is obvious isn't it? And the subject is physics. Suddenly the urge to learn more bout physics jus gripped me so i picked this topic either that or there is a physic test next week.. Sianz! Wadeva the case, i haven been really playin computer for a long time. Mayb due to the fact im sick, and no time to do anyting i like either. Life has ratehr been busy and hectic. Runnin to and fro, goin tuition, lookin for books to buy.. Ask me if theres anyting i will realli wish for now, a slower pace of lifestyle. Cant really understand wads the real rush for.. Okay, time's money but health is wealth.. Overload of work brings stress and dats bad! 24hrs a day is the same for everyone around the world so why is the pace of life here faster?.. Well.. wait til i fidn out the answer, i will probably be stil dashin around the town.. Sianz!

0oOhh.. Finally, i haf gathered up all my coruage from deep i mean really deep within me to ask for Miss Beautiful's email address! YAY! Three Cheers! haha the bad part is i dint ask it from her! Haix.. Wad to do? i am not the kinda brave guy afterall.. But i hafta admit she looks expectionally pretty todae! haha! I tried as hard as i could not to look.. (: Lolx so im gona add her now! Peace out

*************

Currently playin guessin game with Xinyuan Aunty..

Love is jus a word over cliched..

-devilxiv

2006-01-15T22:32:00.000+08:00

A person's mind is hard to fathom.There are many doors to the maze, yet each person holds the key to every door.Just as long as you know his or her weakness you can unlock the door and find out the secret that lies within.

That's hypnotism.Any one can do it.Doesnt require some great hypnotist to do the job..Even you or I could just make a person enter a trance.Ingenious isnt it?Imagine i just take some dumb old 'watch' and swing it to and fro right before your eyes..chanting some weird cantation..And i can make you follow my commands:Do my homework, arrange my desk,wash the dishes..ahem.I mean perhaps you could make a person like you; or maybe make him or her be at your beck and call.Cool aint it?But think about it again.It's the hypnotic device you instill in people.Not out of their own free will.So if that's how you gonna make ppl like you,are you sure that's how u want it?

I'd rather be able to make my own choice.Whether you hate or like this person.Whether you want things to have it your way.Whether you prefer this colour to the other one.And etc.But i wonder what is' like to be hypnotised.Is it like what they say: You enter another subconscious state of mind and once you wake up you won't remember anything at all.During that period of time you have done something which u can nv think of.You are just but a puppet to the 'master'.Then again,if that's how life's gonna be, living under someone's else shadow and blindly following e path laid out ahead,I'd rather choose not to be born.This is called existing and this is not living.

According to greek, 2013 will be the time when the world will come to an end.It's a prophecy.But i do know if tt will really happen.What it's gonna be like?Some kind of gigantic meteorite that comes crashing down to earth?Or a weird black hole that engulfs the whole universe?If that really happens i rather be hypnotised.Then i won't rmb how things are being destroyed.And if i tell you, you only have one more day to live what will you do?Most people will probably say spend the last memorable day with their loved ones and telling how much they loved him or her.Then i ponder:If it wasnt the last day to the end of world, then people will not learn to appreciate and show their love and concern for the people and things around them.This is reality:People all living in their separate spheres,oblivious to the things around them.Would it have been hard to even show a little care and concern for their loved ones each day?

Mixed feelings.That's just it.Why don't just live each day without regrets?It's not how long we live.It's how well we live.So live now.Starting from today till the end of time.And i getting back to work too.Signing off~

-ting

2006-01-14T23:29:00.000+08:00

I am finally back here.Sorry jm but i havent been feeling well for the past 2 or 3 days.Down wid fever and a bad sore throat.Now i got a 'sexy' voice according to mrs loke..But what can i do?Been shuffling btw school work and the class decor thingi.Oh yeah.Today went back to create graffiti on the wall.It reads:Believe in yourself...overcome e extreme!U all wanna know what's the trick to creating a nice graffiti?Just be outrageous and smurge and use al kind of colours.In other words anyhow anyhow.Then you have your wish granted:Your very own graffiti proudly done.

But stiu damn hectic lo.Stiu got chinese new year creative board competition...then got class blog and class tee as well.Tt's like i dun have enough on my hands...It's fun but it's clashing wid my study plans.Oh wells.Tt's gonna explain why i nv really can take out some time here to blog.That must have 'incurred the wrath' of my blog partner..0.o. Really sorry.. hmm

Today after my amaths tuition...turned out that i gg to have dinner wid my sis and her bf' whole family.It's like woah.First time meeting his parents..But they're friendly and nice though.Didnt feel out of place one bit.From cantonese restaurant we flocked to bugis for swensens b4 they gave us a ride back home.My stomach's bloated man-though i didnt eat much.(Bloated wif water.) They have 3 sons..junyi junjie junwei.0.o all those names seem familiar.I've been such a great talker.Then junyi and junjie said i was indeed full of shit.-full of crap u mean.One said: Where's that stinking smell coming from? The other said: The smell of shit is polluting his nose.And i replied: The toilet bowl is flooded.-.-"ThAT'S the extent of our lameness.I am sure you do not wish to know any further details.haha but it was damn fun gg out wid them for dinner.They're a nice bunch of people.=)

I feel my eyelids closing.Lately dere's not much happening for me.Nothing sensational.Nothing out of the norm.I am just leading my life the way tt it should have been.Just more hectic and more packed scheldule.It's either studying or it's designing the class or it's sleeping.That's all man.mY life is sad.hah.aiyah i wan go off liao.B eback next time.Tata

2006-01-13T23:17:00.000+08:00

Fri The 13th

Okay, skip the intro abt the unlucky day.. Practially everyone noes why todae is supposedly to be an unlucky day for us all. Now i ask if anyone has met with an unfortunte event todae?.. A black cat cross ur path, walkin under a ladder? Did it cause any misfortune to befall on eu if it happened? Supersitions.. Does isst really reality?.. -ponders weirdly-

Well.. the only unlucky ting which happened todae will be probably be fallin sick.. and thats indeed SICKenin! This thot of me losin my precious voice jus seem to linger longer than i expected. I kind felt sumting was wrong since that fateful day paintin. And it did came true, so here i am tryin hard to concentrate on my studies while blowin my nose and clearlin my throat.. Esp when there are like two major tests next week. Muggin and crammin time! The thot of it jus mkes me feel sick even more.

OH yea. Forgotten abt another bad tingy. Trials is totally sucky. All the so-called second peepz are like way below the standard. No idea how the juniors acually trialled them. It is like they haf no fundamental abt playin the sport and stil got in. Mayb because of the low enrolment last yr, they nid peepz to fill in the reserves. Lol. So a disappointin day in skol.

Lastly, i dint even manage to catch a glimpse of Miss beautiful durin tuition. Sad. So far So so so so farrr from me.. Anywae both of us are like north poles, never be able to attract and go against the law.. Not tokin abt this, my blog partner tricked me! Say wad will blog. Lie and lie. Damn sianz le! Wadeva. Zer0 frenz needed! Pece 0ut.. ARGH!

*************

Mood: Sad

No one would haf guessed
til they saw bloodstains on my shirt
The icy cold feelin of my weapon stays
Slowly bit by bit numbness took over
My single shot has fired
All my feelin retired
No love is left for me to share
Not that anyone really care

Onli now the thots came
It's sad i'm in love
Becoz who could eva love me
This is juz not my kinda game
Meanwhile pain grips me tighter
The world's losin an ex-fighter
Vision blurred and hearin lost
My weak body landed with a thud

Finally my world has faded away
Dun hafta face another day
Cold empty hollow sphere
Thats my world, my world here
Tears stain my face now
As strangers bent low
Tyrin to help, tryin to revive
a person who wans to b dead

Thank You, But i dun wish to live!

-devilxiv

2006-01-11T00:08:00.000+08:00

Time: 12:08 am
Mood: Lonely

Sumtym i hope that this blog can be my reality chat partner.. Yet hopes and reality are jus plain immiscible. They jus dun mix well. As people always say higher hopes comes higher disappointment.. But thats the way of life isst it? Okay, mayb im not makin sense but is there a time when eu do not haf high or even any hopes for something pleasant, all pleasant things jus happen outta nowhr?.. Now does that defy the law of hope? Linkin back to this reality cum online blog, on why i feel so lonely.. Or mayb most importantly, the 'millionaire' question is why are people shunnin me.. I ask my blog partner before this and she came up with lot of reasons.. i forgot most of them but everytym she say smth bad i cld sense her urge to add more of it, howeva all that came out were jus white lies..

My attitude is practially the worst outta all the negtives. Okay, lets face it.. who duzen haf an attitude. So dun blame me fully for what haf becum of me todae.. Jus probably 5o% is my fault, the rest gona be with eu guys! Eu may say that im pushin the blame but does it ever occur to eu, eu guys are my surroundings.. In this crude world, frenship involves more 'politics' than eu can ever imgaine, survival of the fittest comes in mind. To survive, there are ways to do it. If eu can beat ur enemies join them. Be like one of eu guys, so that i wun b feelin lonely.. Irritatin ppl, actin cool, all the stuff which i detest doin years ago has become a part of me todae. Im not enitrely accepted in ur eyes but not a complete outcast either.. Mayb thats wad reali hurt.. Trappin in the middle of nowhr. Half a angel, half a devil.. Neither world will recog me as part of them. Some perfectionist may offer some brillant ideas, leave them to find another gd company..Easier said than done. That is made worse when ur surroundin seriously lack ppl of sort.. All that mingled with eu, all that are to be ur frens are all part of this deceit -- reality.

Okay, many suspicions may haf aroused now.. Probably angry at wad i haf said. But to all things in the world, there are of course two sides. And this is no exception. Atttude problem and the freakin environment one is in duzen matter alot if one is determined to be void of acceptin them. Instead be brave enuff to challenge them. Now dats whr my 5o% comes in. I am definitely at fault of not being able to get a grip of myself t times. I read in somewhr in a bk abt sumting called, changes. If anyone was to make a change, they shld start with the least influential yet the hardest change -- change within urself. Onli then with this change, eu can do sumting that may affect another one or another few and before eu knew it, the whole city might haf ppreciated ur efforts and change too. So it boils down to a very small part in life. Makin a change in urself.. Big or small it duzen matter, coz in time to come, small will be big and big will probably jus grow bigger.

Nevertheless, it takes lotsa time to prove a change worthy of anyone's respect. My change isnt showin any effect yet. Neither has my loneliness and depression been cured. They stil continue their shifts hauntin me day and night.. But believe me, one day i will prove to all, i am not the same devil round the block!

Time: 12:51 am
Mood: Slpy

Events todae will jus bein an outin to my 'bro' 's place to game and haf some fun. Chill out. Eat. Tok abt the past. Wonderful day. Miss my runnin session tho. Tmr hafta rush from skol back to tuition.. To see Miss beautiful.. Lolx. May God bless her! Gotta go! Swt dreamz ppl (:

***********

Shld i keep quiet abt my feelin for eu and push them away?..

-devilxiv

2006-01-09T23:28:00.000+08:00

Eternal? External?

I'm very lost and confused todae. Dun ask why. I jus felt that way. Den the next question eu may ask is probably abt wad? Wad am i feelin confused abt? Isst love.. isst life. Frankly speakin, i dun reali noe. Aiya.. Dun feel like typin abt it. Feelin all weird inside me now. Sigh. Havin lotsa decisions to make isnt such a gd ting.. Den why did the title came along?.. Sumhow it has sumting to do with me committin into sumting. Isst really eternal or will the external factor pull me away? Haix. May someone show me the path to success.. Argh.. Bullshit post. Peace out =X

*************

Eu're right there in front of me but so far outta my reach..

-devilxiv

2006-01-08T23:18:00.000+08:00

Weddin

Todae was my 'aunt' 's weddin! Haha.. Congrats and all the best yea? Haf an awful fun time chattin to the 大哥哥 and his wife! Haha. The weddin dinner was very niceeee too! The food are very delicious. Yum-yum.. Brief outline is like that bah. Off to slp! Tmr got skol.. Zzzz

2006-01-07T23:40:00.000+08:00

S o [f] a b ulous

Okay, lets not beat ard the bushes. Im not a Mr. Nice guy nor am i tryin my very best to be hide my bad boy side. Neither does the word "cool-tempered" associate with me. As my title sys it all for those who realise it.. I nidta find a freakin method to let off some boilin hot steam and it is gona be here. This involves eu and mayb eu too and eu and eu.. (points) But if this is ur so-called backstabbin, i tink eu already knew wads comin when eu provoke me. So i ask myself fter ytd: "am i jus soooooo fortunate to haf such GOOD frens ard me?"

First lets tok abt the new committee. Led by crap..followed by crap and crap so on and so forth. Bossy plus noisy, may i know wad in the world does the space betweem ur ears contain?.. Crap or jus a pea-sized brain which can even beat the T-rex in Guiness world record for smallest brain? Eu may be the enthu one but does that gif eu the right to abuse ur power to rob the rights of another person to decide wad he/she wana do?.. For eg some stupid "DONATION" pardon me if i use the word donation, it is even discriminatin the word, but my vocab has its limit, which eu force everyone to spare out willingly from their pockets. I dun like the idea of supportin anyone whom i doubt has the ability to perform moreover the meanin of the show is somethin i dislike as it is sumhow promotin a concept that does nt help in anyway of the performer. I voice it out nicely to eu but NOOOO, ur damn ear is filled with so much thick ear wax, eu gif me some shitty reason to continue this act anywae.. I wld rather donate it to the charity for the needy.

Second in charge isnt any better.. Usin ur stupid post in ur cca to gain popularity in addition to ur damn exaggeratin acts which eu tink is well accepted by everyone. Wth i tell eu. Every time eu do that, eu duno how dumb eu look in my eyes. Like a big fat gorilla tryin to squeeze itself into the mousehole. DUMB. And eu are also another bossy crap. Do eu ever know how i felt bein trampled under ur feet?.. Do eu know how unwell im feelin that well?.. DID EU? I guess not. Eu carry on ur irritatin orders and even hit me eh. Now eu tink thats cool? Try cuttin minute word with a penknife or even paint a ceilin for a day. Were eu there when i did that? Did eu prise me for that? NO. Eu tease, eu snigger, bring the whole class out to embarass me with disgustin laughter. Well, i am soooo appreciated by ur effort to motivate but let me tell eu this.. Eu are no different from a bright sun of the beach. Scorchin down on me with intense heat that is not required of. I can be self motivated like the day when eu are OUT for cca. I hafta go out to spend my whole afternn typin competition stuff and when i came back, eu jus screamed: DUN SLACK! Wth man. Eu can be excused coz eu are gd at some dumb cca while me representin the skol cant? Eu almost got a punch from me, i warn eu. I jus dun wana repeat the fightin incident like last year. HOWEVER dun tink eu can push it far. I jus dun wish this to continue any further.

Now both of eu, SUPPOSEDLY my frens.. Did eu tell me there was a change in timetable? Did eu tell me wad time to arrive in skol todae? Now thats SO responsible of eu two as the heads of class?! Hmm.. Mayb i shld jus tell eu this den.. I do as I please and slack if i wan to.. I see no need for eu to order me ard if ur attitude to me duzen change. Eu DO NOT i repeat DO NOT earn my respect at all. Jus mayb we cld sort out this difference if not.. I dun mind bein outcasted by the whole class.

To end these two days perfectly badly, miss beautiful is moody over some stuff. Haix, super frustration thru out these days. Cause a bad headache tat very ytd. Pain seem to be playin a joke on me. Here it came runnin down my head and whoosh goen for a min. And it came back again. This continues til the very moment i slpt. Even heaven wans to team up with the two crap to harm me, to make me suffer? Shld i bow down to them and hail them kings? Shld i resign to fate and tell them im their slave? This question did surface lotsa times. It may end my pain for bein angry.. But sadly im not this kinda person. I nidta stand up for my right and that means dis obeyin ur orders as i deem fit. Fine, eu may b the highest rank in class and probably in cca as well as popularity in skol.. Yet i vow to exceed eu in every possible way i can, im gona make eu pay for wad eu haf done.. Twice, thrice..

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I may haf been too critical in my comments but i do feel the urge to do it. Moreover it isnt good to bottle tings up.. My blog partner has been busy lately and i dun wish to bother her.. I do apologise to the innocent parties involved.. :

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Be a social outcast for the sake of my pride..

-devilxiv

2006-01-05T22:31:00.000+08:00

Ok so what's been happening?Sch's reopened.But with quite some changes.Mr kiw replaced by mr Teo.I don't like him ok?Take over mr Kiw's place then he already throwing his weight bout.Hello you're not a commando.You're a discipilinary master...True he doesnt have those beady eyes of kiw but he doesnt have the sense of humour either.Argh.Forget it.
First day of sch is damn freaky boring cos all we do is just sit in the hall till our legs go numb.Let's see.Our form teacher is mrs lim..eng mrs vora..maths is nancy phua..chem ms ngss..physics nigelkoh..geog mrs chin and social destudes is mrs tanbk.Some others i forgot.Btw i become SPC.Gosh.Am i just so lucky?

hmm.Just another year in dhs and we SAP stream wil move to other places all over singapore.Mr sng said this year is a special year.Cos it's the 50th bdae of the sch..and the demolition of the sch as well.And we have those dhs dolls-boy with a nose but girl without a nose cos he thinks it is cuter for gal to have no nose.-.-" okk.No comments.And not to forget the model of the sch which will take at least 8hours for a person to complete..lol.

aye..dunno sia.Today discuss wif the class bout class design.But as usual they 're not as responsive..But this is our theme:Believe we can overcome the extremes.Then we wanted a underwater world.In the end turn out the so called deepblue sea ...supposedly the darkest blue turned out more like the lightest instead.Everyone was like 0.o.HAHA.Sometimes gotta resort to the 'extremes' b4 ppl will cough out 1 dollar.Mrs lim told the class at 930 if they pay up then can go recess liao.And it worked.LOL.I think she damn slack sia..But better than azlin though.Den go wif zhiheng and mrs lim to library to do research on shark and pirate ship.And i am dumb enough to leave the mahjong paper in the canteen.WTH.I think i can really go bang my head against the wall liaox lor..kaoz.Oh...stella managed to buy DARK blue paint for 34 bucks..heheheh.Now can return the extra to me..=)

haiya..Cannot come online so often.But then my blog partner is nice and understanding.So i shall try to come blog more often lah.As you said...shorter but more often de.stiu got a maths test tmr.Wish me luck.2mths beat a day's lastmin revision right?Pls say yes.K silence means consent.K lah.Dunno wad to say le..mind's a whirl.So many things to settle.So much for being the spc.But it rocks.haha.

~`Ting`~

2006-01-05T22:24:00.000+08:00

Afternoon Rhythm XX

Paint and paint and paint.. Everyday paint.. Sianz! Picture speaks a thousand words. And so does paintin a classroom. It shows some people with alot of high respect for their clothes they are wearin and thus this is sufficeient to allow them to slack around, disturbin the hell outta people and pissin my freakin a** off. Pardon me.. I am jus not comfortable with this type of people bringin their im-the-king-of-world attitude with them to show me. Secondly theres also a bunch which is overly-egoistic.. They keep insistin that their ideas are the best and wadeva that eu haf suggested are inferior, shld be chucked aside with garbage lying at the corner of the classroom.. And finally there is always this group of superheros who hafta save the day from the baddies. They seriously work diligently to get things done round the place. I really admire their persistence and all the hard work they haf put in. Gif them all one big pat on the back!

After all that crap, aka after school, fran, clar and moi go TM to do some last minute shoppin which ended up quite weird. Char came along somehow and only den we manage to get stuff done. Haha.. Wad to do?.. I feel extra btw. Kinda funny goin with them. No topic, so lost when they talk. Wadeva it is, stil a good enuff trip to kip me entertained. And for no reason i am tagged a snag?.. Crazy them.. I admit i aint one! Srca ehh people.. Dun let me find eu laughin behind moi back! Haha.. Many interestin tings happen durin the trip but well.. lazy to write so errr jus go ask them!

Welcome back Mr. Heartless aka Me..

Realise something very important and valuable to me. And that ought to be my blgo partner.. Hasnt seen her bloggin lately but being a "snag".. i understand that she does hafta concentrate on her studies and stuff so i told her to leave this blog stagnant for awhile. Dun blame her, people.. Obviously i will wish eu all the best tmr.. If there's anyone thats gona top this mock examinations, i belfi it can be eu! =)

And wad has this gona do with heartless.. well, a lot of things did happen to me on a personal scale that is.. I do haf lots unspoken feelings about the environment and the tings that revolves ard me. This makes me realise sometimes, the best way to protect urself against the offensive is to be heartless. Make no sense?! Well.. usualli ppl tend to take dvantage of ur gd nature and soon they will be steppin over ur heads, demandin for more unreasonable piece of bullshit. Sometimes that includes very hurtin teasing, harassing and probably mayb some insults being hurled. All these may b part of life but it is teh lfie eu wan? Thus being heartless may not be the ultimate solution but for me i haf decided to choose this path and will stick to it.. Being numb to the painful surroundin may jus lead eu to eternal happiness or forever regrets.. But to know the result, eu wil hafta step into it first.. and who to do it but myself?..

Quite long le.. Any thots tmr den i will continue..

No way i'm gona be good, coz i choose to be the best

-devilxiv

2006-01-05T00:12:00.000+08:00

Yest.Er.Day

Life in school has been kidna borin lately, despite the fact that i haf onli been for like 2days. Nothin interestin except for some numerous additions to the staff in school and the sec1's orientation which was told that the ratio of the genders are quite bad.. Oh well, life still hafta go on..

Took a look back at wad happen ytd.. Rememeberin how my fiery temper fought with my controlled mind and won. I was indeed very angry over some stuff which could be resolve much nicely over the days.. To end the day like friday the 13th, a special someone ignore my msg. Heartbroken to the core. Anyway after ytd, things are realli different. I duno if the change in me is good or will it even last but i hafta get outta of this self-pity and get some serious anger management. Why self-pity eu may ask, for no gd reason, i was upset by the fact that majority did not even bother to listen to me, tinkin i am outcast.. Anger management mayb jus a more demure kinda of vocab which shld include the likes of MOOD management. Mood swings again.. Damn it man. Do i hate myself?..

Howeva, someone did manage to throw me a float preventin me from drownin into the sea of blues.. Wad surprise me more was that the person is not reali counted close to me.. But still i would liek to thank her for listenin and givin sorta useful advice AND even promise to lend me a book for this cause. She is none other than... *drums roll* Clarissa! Haha.. I do sympathise with the plight she is in now abt the seatin arrangement but i hope it can be resolved soon at least to suit her needs! And hope that whoeva forget abt her presence please wake up! It's quite pointless for me to say this here coz she wun be seein it BUT jiayou to us both for eu-know-wad! (:

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Beee-a-uuu-ti-ful Day

Wad could possibly be related to this title?.. Haha if eu guess it is the chapter 2 of' four seats away' den eu re RIGHT! Haha.. Todae i saw her again.. Oh man is she the pretty or wad? heeheee.. No offence people! She dresses like an angel, her velvet black hair tied nicely behind, leavin a long ponytail.. Her white blouse compliementin with her pants showin the true beauty of her personality.. Wowww~ Her elegant looks simply sweep me off my feet.. Nevertheless it is her laughther dat make my heartbeat rate quickly risin from a slow walk to jog and finally a sprint; skippin a beat or two at times.. For a gal to be perfect, to me, the smile is the most important and she is the one!

So anywae, this time she is VERY close to me.. OR at least i daydream it to be.. Haha she is two seats away. And man, i could hear clearly her words amplied by her sweet voice, her laughther with bits of shyness hiding in between..I admit i do try to take a peep or two at her. Lolz. But nothing much more.. Basically it is also becoz of the fact that the lesson is very borin and i was feelin restless. Fidgetin about, daydreamin.. The cher's teahcin style duzen suit me and i felt very left out.. And now i seriously miss my last yr teacher! Where are eu?! haha.. Despite this rude remark i will stil gif him a chance to change coz some dumb shit force me to gif her some stupid idea on how to change.. Stupid her! Hate idiots that force ppl.. Where's my right of keepin silent eh?

Wadeva it is, there will be 3 lessons per week i will b able to look at the ONE! So.. i hope mayb i cld be her fren! Juz wish me luck! :P

**************

4onli 3days per week

I could steal a peek

Of her smilin

& of her laughin..

(incomplete_____ devilxiv)

2006-01-03T22:37:00.000+08:00

1 w0rd t0da3: Angry!

2006-01-02T23:32:00.000+08:00

4 seats away

Pardon me, blog partner, i felt like separating the two posts so here's the second one. And eu haf indeed been kinda stagnant, nvr been able to really tok to eu often so i hope that even so, this can be ur special mode of communciation and hope eu see this. Duno if it is becoz of ur hectic schedule or isst jus that i onli come online durin the wee hours, in any case, i wish eu all the best tmr and anyone readin this! =)

-devilxiv

*************

ytd was kidna busy so i haf no time to post anything. Anywae this blog practially has jus me readin.. so who cares? Oh, so back to 4 seast away, it came from a stupid ting that came from my heart. There's some line abt tink with heart instead of brain wadeva it is, the title came jus like that. Sortta weird if eu ask me too! Haha no offence to my heart. ><

A very short one. Is abt sumone who sat 4 seats away from me durin class ytd.. Haha, i duno why for no reason, i got kinda distracted by her! haha.. oh wellz, we did haf a slight less than 1sec eye contact with her, but i shun her the second our gazes met. Blah.. Kinda dumb.. but wadeva the case, she is indeed bea-u-ti-ful! haha! So thats' it folks. Garbage post?!

Wadeva den, bye..

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Resolution(s) for new year~

Be nice :)
Study hard-er
Stay single!
Duno yet
Zzzzz

2006-01-02T22:49:00.000+08:00

Resolution?

Ytd was 1st Jan, supposedly to be a new beginnin for all -- all to reform, resolve past conflicts, start afresh. Yet it dawned on me that such an opportunity duzen jus cum knockin on ur door that easily. Wad i meant is that even such a chance to gif others see the better side of eu needs hard work and perservance. Im not very good with words so jus picture a scenario, eu haf been bad for this past year 2005 so eu haf set a new year resolution to be nice. But do others believe eu?.. Do they haf faith in eu and who says they will b willing to spend their precious time to see eu change for the better of mankind? Over here, time is indeed money where a split second may cause a difference in makin millions and a cent. Furthermore, first impressions counts alot, it is indeed easier to make urself notorious jus within a day but to gain back ur popuarity, eu may need more than a year. hard work and perservance come in when the rumors about ur bad past start to spread agn.. It is jus extremely difficult for anyone to not wield under these circumstances eh?.. Guess im kinda goin nuts. Influenced by my blog partner. Mentioned above are jus sum rash thots. Do not take them for real. Work hard for ur own goals and may God bless eu!

2005-12-31T00:34:00.000+08:00

Hey.It's been a long time since i dropped by.Me and my blog partner have switched roles-He being the active one while i breed in stagnant water.It's kind of an irony.Still i wanna thank jm for upkeeping this blog.And instilling a different way of blogging--not being cliche in any way.I like your style.And that's just it.

Perhaps i am in a kind of trance again for now.Let's talk bout sth interesting.Have you ever told a lie in your life?If you say no,There you are:Telling a downright lie through your teeth.Give it up.You're not god or jesus.However as hard as we may try, we can never be totally pure.What separates us from God is that he has never sinned.N humans are grey-Not entirely good but not entirely bad either.

People distinguish between 'white' lies and outright blatant lies, but somehow in some cases such a distinction is flawed.Even if a person is to tell a 'white' lie, there is still an element of deception involved and if the truth comes to light,then the person who has been deceived will still feel cheated.For example, you may wish to conceal a painful truth like the death of a loved one to your fren..But if he or she uncovers the truth of the mtter then he wuld still feel sad and even worse feel cheated by his fren.In such a scenario even though your intention for lying stems from concern,ultimately n the long run it would do no good to that person.Sometimes it wouldbe better to just let the truth be revealed than to delude someone.

Then there are extreme cases of lying.One vicious form is the spreading of rumours.I am sure it's very normal in everyday life.Or even a matter of fact we all are culprits ourselves.Perhaps he or she just want to tarnish the reputation of someone.And the worst of rumours is that the original lie can be embellished utnil it becomes totally ludicrous as the story is repeated from on eperson to another.Are you the one guilty?Or are you the victim?Wadever it is,we can be sure that we hate rumours to mutate and change then spread like wildfire around the place.It's like wth..But when we do the same to others dun they hate it too?I guess mayb it would be best to know not of such things.Be oblivious.

Yet lying doesnt necessarily mean through your teeth.In many occasions,do you ever find yourself trying to force a smile even though you hate that very person to the core?Just because he or she exerts a great influence and you don't wanna get on the wrong side of her for fear of having the whole world against you.Or have you ever tried to convince yourself to forget bout a loved one and get on ahead of life?This is also an act of lying and cheating-But this time it's your ownself.Then again..if people do not conceal their feelings the world would be quite a scary place to live in.Imagine everyminute you hear people telling straight in your face: 'Hey you know wad?I think your dress sense simply sux.'Or maybe:'You made me lose my appetite.Can you just get lost?'In a way lies do play an important role.If there were no lies at all...i dun think the planet's gg to be bearable for you or me.

hah.Better let my blog partner have his chance of posting his blog.Tata.

2005-12-31T00:18:00.000+08:00

Ooh Yeah

Stagnant for a long time (3+ days) and i'm back.. Miss talkin to Aunty! Haha. Cant believe i'm sayin this eh?.. *winks* Today i suppose is the last day of 2005, not much thot came to me now. Mayb after i wake up, lotsa feelings and emotions will haf gushed into my now-frozen brain.. Haha.. Spastic me! Wads with the title eu may ask.. Is the long awaited tuition.. It started todae or rather yesterdae.. Haha. Dun treat me as those psycho-nerdy kinda guy tho, is jus cause i am quite bored and hoemwork duzen seem to interest me one bit.. So i went to catch a breather over at the tution's.. And oh man, isst a HUGE one.. Lolx, two new gals joined the class! Knowin that they wun see this but as a nice guy hey, welcome! :) Not being thick-skinned! Jus bein hospitable kk!

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This is for the day b4. Did an insane stuff.. Imagine urself: 6pm in the evening, strong cold wind kisses ur skin as the cold seeps underneath the thick clothing eu are wearing.. Jus after a heavy storm, slippery roads decorated by puddles of muddy water, wet footprints littered the ground.. eu tryin to stay at home as every sane person would be doin.. eu try lookin thru the misty window, wipin it clear with ur hand, eu discern two guys runnin downtown in this weather.. runnin with loose pieces of cloth danglin from the shoulders.. from Simei to East Caost Park via various weird shortcuts--one of which is behind the dense forest of Temasek Secondary school.. Duno wad wildlife inhabiting that area. Time slows down as they skipped their way thru thick sludge.. time check: 7.00 reached the beach.. Enjoy the scenery for awhile and decided to haad back to Bedok for dinner. Reached the place at 8.00pm. Man, was that the best run of ur life?! For me, OH YEAH~ Anyone interested to run.. Find me tmr mayb over Lucky Heights or Reservoir..

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Thots Of the Day! For those Un-interested.. Jus click the red X on the top left of ur screen!

I really can't compose myself to forget ur every small details, how eu hate to wear specs, how eu enjoy eatin kiddy meals..
Never do workout while watching mtv, eu will look totally, i mean seriously, dumb dancin with dumbbells!
Always spike ur hair after puttin on a shirt.. It duzen take a genius to figure out why.. for me it took 15+ years.. ><
Accept apologies fast and quick; ensure that the apologizer gets the message across or eu gona haf a bad earful of sorries!
Last but not least, tune in to my blog practially everyday for i-duno-wad, i promise it to benefit eu!

...Howl under the moonlight.. Howl with all my might.. Howl to pass the long night..

-devilxiv

2005-12-28T00:28:00.000+08:00

Active HBeat

Yesterdae I forgot to blog abt AUNTY O.X.Y so guess what?.. Todae shall be abt eu! Hahaha. No nid thank me.. I haf nothing to tok abt..

-devilxiv

*************

So we sortta met in some funny competition and out of nowhere, this "nice", "nice"-looking, "nice"-wadeva gal with a "nice" attitude magically pops out from thin air. Kinda like a fairy tale or I will say nightmare.. Blah blah blah.. 5 days passed. And I added her to my contact list. Group her under "nice" people. Fact or fiction, eu decide for urself! :)

Here comes the funny part: we haf been like chattin for some time, and this AUNTY still has no idea who I am. And she jus continues tokin to me whom, to her, I am jus like a total stranger! LOL~ Despite her slowness which she LOVES alot ( I duno why ), she did managed to come up with a almost perfect guess abt who I am. And this AUNTY jus loves callin people ( me ) Uncle for no good reason! Irritatin to the core! Okay, so thats abt it.. Wait till there's more crappish stuff which I predict coming soon! (:

For the Gal who Loves pink

On the very first day

Eu caught my attention

I was filled with jublilation

As if I haf gotten my pay

On the next day

Eu ran thru my mind

Together with eu came wind

And the lovely sunray

Third and fourth day pass

Same old routine in class

Final day arrived

Without a word eu leave

-devilxiv

[ dun take it seriously k? :) ]

2005-12-25T23:36:00.000+08:00

25th Dec

Merry Christams to all.. Esp to some very special people who may not be able to see this. Hope eu know who eu are and may God bless eu..

-devilxiv

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Jus a few mins b4 Christmas ends.. Not too bad a Christmas this year. Somewhat less boring and less ordinary compared to the other days. It is T-H-E festive season. Haven been over to Orchard for the so-called lightings of the year.. No Christmas party either. Jus a simple day at my uncle's house. Doin homework as usual.. I meant I did more than i expected. My blog partner stil haven replied me. Neither did the special gal. Anyway thank you for all those ppl who send me those Xmas msg-es. Last but not least, I would like to apologise for havin such an untidy post. Not in a mood to blog.

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I guess now is Boxin Day.. So happy Boxin day too! Never ever realise wad Boxin day is for til I searched up for its history jus now. It was meant for someone to know but in a somehow weird manner, I sortta got to know more about it myself. Nothing much to blog.. Jus some thots abt Xmas (:

Goodbye Christmas

Amid showers of rain and snow

Carols floatin on the breeze

One lonesome figure freezes

On his face, not a single glow

Not a single present

Nor received any invitation

Down the streets he went

Admiring the trees' decoration

These words will slowly fade

As the white night reaches its end

The last present to all he'll send

His one last goodbye he bade

-devilxiv

2005-12-24T00:25:00.000+08:00

Just Some Thots

Blasting my room with dance remix-es.. At night.. Alone..

-devilxiv

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For my blog partner,

I stay up to wait for eu

Jus to see the sun rise b4 eu came

Another night has ended in vain

Not to meantion my heart's pain

Eu're jus like the rest of them

Eu fooled me with open eyes

How could I be so dumb

Believin ur words that are lies

Tell me honestly what am I to eu

An useless collector's item

For eu to mess around with

chucking it elsewhere when eu're done

Howeva I'm worried abt eu

If eu're alive and kicking

Fear grips me tight

So tight it's suffocating me

I'm prayin hard for eu (so)

To wish me many more gdnitez

To give a smile worth thousand words

Prayin for eu to be okay

Stil my inner demon speaks

His sense of anger heightens

May eu appease him

with an excuse that enlightens

I do deserve ur 'sorry'

At least I felt obliged to

My heart will react accordingly

Ur hatchet it will bury

I never had a problem

with accepting ur apology

Jus for the very fact

that eu're my dear sister

*************

Day's events

Runnin in the rain for 3 hours

Zero homework done

Forgot to brin back penknife etc

Crazy over FFR's music (:

2005-12-22T23:46:00.000+08:00

Pissed

Blog: Welcome back!

Me: I needta let off some steam, i haf no choice. Dun mind my language.

Blog: Why wld i care?! I haf full trust and faith in eu, that eu thot thru loooong and haaard before attemptin to graphitize me with these "flamboyant" words of yours. I wun mind.

Me: Love eu, I jus wana let eu know I'm truely sorry if these hurt ur reputation.

Blog: It is really ok.. Go on.. FEEL THE WRATH, UNLEASE UR ANGER! =)

***********

Let's start off with the more negative stuff. I am totally disappointed in someone whom I HAD trusted. I dint expect her to go forward and ask my SUPPOSEDLY ex if both of us are still together... what an insensitive thing to do?! This is like if it is true that we broke up, wouldn't that feel the whole damn place with awkward-ness? What make me more pissed is that she never knew when to stop! That gal rejected that ABSURD assumption profusely and she insisted that it was still true. Can any other idiot get stupid-er than this?.. She could haf procastinated, hesitated or wadeva jus stop and TINK before these brainless "questions" come spillin outta the big hole in between her nose and chin. Damn it man. To add the perfect icing to this "ingenious" confrontation, the victim ( sorry if i refer eu as a victim) remembers it after one month, telling me todae nicely. I admired her courage, and of course her ability to stay cool. BUT i cant! I was at a loss of words. How do i explain to her?.. Was it my fault?.. Lets jus end it here. It may be mine. Wadeva's the reason and complications of this nonsensical crap, i can't be bothered to care more. Period.

***********

Blog: Okay, message received. Any idea why I dun haf a tagboard?

Me: Lol, to prevent people from retaliating from these "crude" & "mindless" remarks!

Blog: Haha.. Wad more can i say?.. =)

Week's Events!

Reutrn plans to blog again on Christmas was brought forward. 23/12

Got fifth in YDSP Science camp tingy. $50 voucher =) 16/12

Complete my SIMtech car cover. Gold color... 22/12

My partner blogger returned with no presents for me 22/12

Homework has a new hobby - collectin dust on my desk 23/12

Help Band peepz put up SYF tingy thank me! 22/12

Shld be no more.. sorry if not in order. Lazy! :)

-devilxiv

2005-09-07T00:01:00.000+08:00

This has been stagnant for quite some time.Lol.Oh well.Time really flies i guess.Come to think of it, in just less than a month it will be the end of years exams.Gear up for mugging people..Look back and you see how much things have changed over the few months.Really things are different now.Whether it's for good or for the bad..doesnt matter does it?After all u cant undo things.It's pointless to hold onto the fleeting past.Just embrace the present and the future.

I sensed something amiss.I have become addicted to bball.Very.That's how i acquired a successful sunburnt attempt after teacher's day. 5hours under the sun...bball/captain ball/vball.Anything under the scorching sun.Under the courteousy..i am a 'tomato'.Anyway..today is Ming Shuan's bdae.Happy birthday gal!You're one year older.Same level as me now.-heh.I shall return you this kind gesture..by inviting you to my bdae party next year if i should hold one.Sweet 16.Wonder what's it going to be like.

Yeah today is fun.I had nice time poking the skewer through the chicken wings.hah.With the help of ivan lau..and we had a debate on whether..two chicken wings on one skewer or one chicken wing on one skewer would be better choice.Irony.And you get to see people being pushed into the swimming pool;with some of us scooping up water using cups and splashing water at the person at the other side of the pool.Audrey got pushed in 3 times i think.Donovan got 'rinsed'with water...rolling on the floor.Reminiscing all the old times when we were just 3 years old.haha...Then the guys were playing unostacko..then they purposely saboed weizhou.Poor him gotta do a forfeit.That is offer food for minhui.Lol.He gave her a chicken wing.Me and kangqi were thinking like:wah he so nice.If it was us we would have add some extra ingredients in perhaps.Lol.2nd time weizhou lost again.Me and minhui got the warning sign and we ran off to the carpark and ms's house to hide in refuge.After sometime we decided to return--the moment they saw minhui..shane started to shout 'minhui is here.Weizhou...'lol.There we go again-went to hide in the carpark awihleuntil coast clear.But ultimately we escaped.

I feel like a glutton.I ate a lot of the cake.I mean cakes.And we learning the secret to burping.LOL.Donovan's burps damn nice.lol.So loud and clear.i mean..haha oh well forget it.U dowan to be disgusted.yawns.Just damn tired.Shall blog another day soon.Tata

2005-08-19T00:39:00.000+08:00

I am very pissed and angry at this moment.Do pardon me if i am using vulgar.

How can Junyang get out?!I still cant believe it myself.Everything is just so surreal and fake.Tell me it's a dream?Omg.Seriously don't u think it's very absurd?Think it over.I bet everyone expected Junyang to get in...probably that's why he got out.I watch the slot...then aroused a premonition that weilian might get in instead.I brushed it aside.Thinking it wasnt really possible
..But i guess my father did prove me wrong.It came as a shock;i watched with my mouth gape open and my heart did skip a beat.Am i really seeing and hearing the truth?For a moment i rather it was a dream or an illusion.

Well..i am not exactly a superstar fan or anything.But still i think junyang proves to a better singer than weilian.-sigh.But still this is the cruel truth--we just gotta face it and live with it.We cant do anything bout it either.hmm...But then again if we put ourselves in the shoes of weilian..I guess we cant blame him either.It's all up to the fans votes that ultimately decides the winner.No point bearing any more grudges and spouting swear words just to let off steam.Though i am still very disappointed that junyang didnt get into the finals..As for xinhui.i felt that she indeed shown vast improvements.I admire for not shedding any tears even when she learnt bout the results.--commendable.I just wish the 2 of them all the best in whatever they do and may they continue with the music career in the future if possible.They got potential don't ya think?

Al the mixed feelings getting me all confused.Great i didnt succumb to being too vulgar.Gotta relish in my dreams.Lights out.

2005-08-19T00:07:00.000+08:00

Tag at www.kriztenfer-devil.blogspot.com

lets talk abt the freaking superstar results.. they're plain rubbish! No0o0o~ xinhui went out.. haix.. sad sad sad.. crying now le lar! and den another shockin news came.. JY went out also. voting system abit crazy le lar! haix. dun care le! dun watch superstar anymore!! xinhui rock on!

yupyup.. so i realise that sports really dominate alot of my life. it kinda affects my mood and vice versa too. and i need abt fifteen mins before my "form" for any sports is out. and thats sad for a player. todae cca we played double knockout.. and i onli gotten 8th. haix.

tml den continue bahx.. gone to cry! haha & haix!! also, char takkaire of ur voice.. i nid sumone to quarrel with tml~ peace out..

2005-08-16T23:36:00.000+08:00

another new chapter..

yesterdae was a wild day. me and bryan went out to eat and den tok abt all sorts of rubbish. walk til parkway den take bus home. hahax crazie eh?! jus to kip my mind off sum tings i shldnt be tinkin abt.. yupyup. quite a fun day..

den the so-called surprise maths test was quite okay. afew careless mistakes i made were spotted and i jus cancel all the answer til very messy.. hope cher accept it! hahax. . and i decide to write a postcard to her.. but sumhow i dint manage to master enough courage to do so. haix. useless me! Zzzz..

todae was no better.. crappy day. bball again sux like hell. zilion zillion air balls. blah.. and i jus realise dat i look very stupid when i shoot. haha oh wellz.. wad to do.. sum ppl are jus noob. and den durin cca, it rock man! skills haf "improved" and errr.. todae coach nvr scold lo.. haha once in a blue moon kinda ting. yupyup. tml got 2 projects.. wish me luck.

ciaoz =X

2005-08-15T01:08:00.000+08:00

can tag at www.kriztenfer-devil.blogspot.com

this was supposedly to be up yesterdae but smth crop up last minute and i wasn't in teh right mood to blog it. so yupyup.. eu get my point

this whole post is only meant for that special sumone..

firstly, i will like to congrat eu for being able to get into njc. weeks of nervousness and preparation has paid off. to me seein eu nervous and worried abt the result is more than weeks.. it felt more like years. i can reali feel that eu are elated and jubliant over ur success. and eu know that i feel it the same way as eu do.. i reali do. but after a few mins of questioning and ponderin i did, it dawned on me that i actualli had mixed feelings over this unexpected results. i was both happie and sad.

why happie? obviously coz she is happie. her beautiful eyes plus her absolutely perfect character (in the beholder's view) wasn't wad caught my attention in the first place. it was her smile. and knowing that this positive results will mean a smile from ear to ear on her face jus propel mi in heaven. of course i hope i was the one who made this happen but nope.. it was God. she emphasized that it was God's plan for her and i dint wana start another argument that i believed it was also part and parcel of her wits. right from the start i supported her in everyting she does includin takin this test. but i hafta admit i am selfish and mean.. i hope she dint make it and will go for the our skol ip program instead. but every week the news of her slowly appraochin the njc doors jus caught me me in surprise.. not that i doubt her ability but i was a selfish bastard.. now that my worst nitemare had becum reality i wana escape but i realised whereva i go it wil stil be the same-- the fact she is leavin me..

why sad? the fact that i love her soo much til lettin her go hurts. the pain is unbearable for me. yet to love sumone eu ought let her haf the best of the worlds.. if eu can't provide it, someone is able to, den let it go. this lesson of love has been hard to accept.i dun wan her to leave me. precious memories of her wil not be pushed into a dark corner of my mind.. her smile that is ever so attractive lies vivid before my eyes.. i miss her. i wil miss her more if she leaves.. at least i haf to face the harsh reality that she has taken part of my heart when she leves. but i shld stil be happie coz at least i noe it is sumwhr in njc.. together with her..

so as quoted from her, God has plans for everyone and hers is to study in her beloved njc. i wil not stop her as if i can in the first place.. i hafta say that i am jus a small fry in her BIG heart.. not that any part of me matter to her, not that my every action could affect her, not that my love i shown she hafta return.. i am jus a nobody. i guess i will rather remain that little passer-by who love her dearly and leave her world silently than bein her fren whom she cared.. i jus wana remember that she is once my love and may foreva be my only love.

May God bless eu, boiboi..

2005-08-12T22:46:00.000+08:00

jus to clarify sum stuff i am not as devoted as ting said i am k.. i do admit she meant alot to me den i can ever realise but.. i cant hold on to her. yupyup so lets jus end this chat abt this tingy here. i dun wish to comment any more.

so i hafta apologise too for the very wols update and the template, skin etc on this blog. kinda busy and lazy so yupyup.. eu get my point. haix duno if i shld rejoice by the fact that the tagboard will not show the low number of readers or be disappointed by my broken promise?.. kinda sad isn't it.. aint sure of myself. that is wad i haf been feelin for the past few days. i cant get a grip on myself and the flow of crude words, violent reactions to stuff jus pop out.. pffttt~

so yupyup went to carnival todae. went for tank trip and naval boat trip. hafta thank nicky for accompanyin me to wait for teh two freakin-ly long trips. haha anywae i enjoyed my myself and not much funny stuff happen. yupyup so anywe i manage to reach hoem in time for my tuition and my cher tell scary ghost stories. hahax nitemares tonite le!

okie tonite thanx is to ting. for helpin mi get the cd but sadly sumbody duno how to rename. so in the end i hafta do it myself. so thank eu, jm~ hahax. Zzzz tired liaoz!

2005-08-11T23:03:00.000+08:00

Guess what?I am back.

So after reading that long post by jm, does it trigger off any latent memories within you or anything?I must say that he's very 'zhuan1 yi1'.Which is good.Not the flippant ones i think.No further comments.What should have been said is already said.

5 days and we are all back to school.Bet most of us didnt really accomplished much over the hols.But does that matter?On national day itself i did sth outrageous.I went to cut my hair short.Ok it's nothing to fuss bout.The only thing is that i cut spikes on my own.So it's courting my own doom actually.Oh wells but heck.As gwen says, it's only once in a lifetime.It's either u do it now or you don't.hah.

Went to marina carnival today.Everything's nice just that the weather's kinda humid though.The free food tastes palatable;the singers were damn mersmerizing with their strong vocals and acapella--greatly impressed.But best thing of all--we get to go on the naval ride!Damn nice kk?We waited for bout 1 hour but time passed quickly as we were happily singing away and attracting all the unwanted attention.See yourself bobbling up and down--all the ripples and waves;not forgetting the seawater that we tasted when water splashed at us.(It's as salty as salt--this is called water osmosis..)But really the feeling is great.Seriously it's like u conquer the sea.The wind is just so strong that it just seems to blow away your problems too.So all aboard the 'persistent battleship'.(It's the same as 'endurance battleship' but it's gone by that time.Kangqi is 'disappointed'.)Hey after all the long flight of stairs and everything,u enter rooms one by one.We are most fascinated by where they sleep.Mingshuan points out that if one person has BO,it's gone case for the whole cabin.lol.

On bus 400A,something funny happened.According to mingshuan and minhui...the 3 army fellas sitting few seats behind were commenting loudly:'Eh small kids liddat." Mingshuan spunned round to give them that 'look'.>_<...And so they responded:'Eh they angry liao..."Oh wells.Kena niaoed.Had a good laugh over it.Didnt know it until ms told us when we alighted.lol.Like it's not niao enough in class.Duh.

it's superstar time.The results are out.I just wanna junyang and kelly in.If not i am gonna banish this show.I mean it.

2005-08-11T00:28:00.000+08:00

thanx for keepin this blog alive, ting. so yupyup. i decide that i shld blog alternately, once here once at my own blog. yupyup i am stil pissed over sum matters in life that i tink if i write it here wil juz invite more trouble.. especially when worse stuff already happen to me.. juz lemme tell eu that being straightforward and frank never work out well in reality. and sumtym it jus make mi wonder if puttin on a pathetic facade will be better compared to the true self. hiding beneath a mask is not wad i do.. but if that is the way i hafta do.. i tink life SUX! such event made mi tink thru once more.. does good reali pays? wellz to me i feel that hypocrite gets the most reward in reality. can heaven be fair? standin by ur fren is supposedly to be good ting. howeva in the end all i have gotten is gettin damned as the bad guy, the main culprit, the ultimate loser in this game of chess. i duno how to manipulate, tink of a good stragedy so i haf lotsa ppl who stand by me. so congrats.. eu beat mi hands down. i love bein myself and belif mi eu wil NEVER see me put on a mask juz to gain sympathy.

from the way tings are goin now, i reckon our frenship will be back in zillion years. haha well jus let it be. this ought to dawn to me before i even took a stand. and to whoeva who read this and is my mei.. i m sorrie for being a failure as ur gor. if eu eva wana leave, be my guest. jus let eu noe i stil like eu once as a gor. so may God forgif this damned one here. shld i haf a chance to repent? shld i haf an opportunity to apologise? it all depends. countless chances are given to me and time and time again i threw them down the drain. constant apology wil be jus passin wind to the ears. may heaven be my witness, hell be my guarntee, i vow to change at least for the better. sum may say i am already walkin down the path of broken empty promises.. so i stil stick with it all depends on whether eu gif mi another try.

anywae there a special sumbody i wana thank to.. and thats boiboi. i noe she haf done nth but she is reali the one i tink of everyday that i wana change for. i jus wana see her happie tho most of the time i am the freakin wind that blows sand to irritate her. i juz wana let eu noe i wish eu to b happie foreva and that we can remain frenz. eu were the spark that cause mi to start a blog and i dedicate my every success in life to eu. i noe this sounds kinda stupid. but er... eu managed to take a part of my heart when eu left..

so yupyup. i guess i can stick around longer to see wad happen next in my life..

2005-08-08T20:19:00.000+08:00

I felt lost and confused as i stared at the endless streams of cars lined up in front of me.The feeling came suddenly..like a wave of hopelessness welling up within me for no apparent reason.From the comfort of the car...i could hear the impatient blaring of horns as distressed drivers sought to weave their way through the traffic jam.Everything just seemed surreal and fake.

I could find no reason why i felt so aimless,like a ship that had lost its anchor;like a roaming soul.I have lived for 15 years in this world.However as i sat there waiting for the traffic to inch its way forward,something in my mind told me,'so what?"

I shuddered involuntarily.Was this what life was about?...Study well and get into top jc or university...Aiming for next achievement to add to the laurels in my life?You just have to live up to your expectations and achieve good results..is that it?I did not believe in religion-regarding it as mere supersition for insecure people who want to know what lies after our time in the world-even though i agreed with the moral aspects regarding ethical behaviour.I dont' really believe in religion..but doesnt mean i condemn it either.Perhaps it's my parents' influence...hmm.Now i fee in need of a kind of security, an assurance that my life is moving as it should and that nothing is wrong with my choices and decisions in life.However i found no solace...within myself there's only bleak emptiness.

All this while seen through a lot of things in life.But i have definitely not seen life.There are things i have done wrong to myself and others...there are times when i am just the insensitive soul....times when i am not of much help at all.But there are good times as well:Hanging out and having real fun with my buddies..always there when i need them.Going through all the hard times and best time together...All the suaning and teasing that just cant stop a smile from cracking.Not forgetting mugging through tests and exam together...as well as having each other's company during lessons.I'ts been really fruitful so far..regardless of whether in primary school(before or after transfer) or in secondary sch life..it's cool.

But then again...i still cant see the future ahead.Like all the cliche questions parents keep asking:'What ure gonna be when you grow up?'.But seriously we don't know.How are we going to know what's the future gonna be like dude..?Go on floating.But maybe in coming future we will find the shore.How many of us are also troubled byt his?Human beings like us just cant stop using our brains.They think,ponder and wonder.That's how troubles come about.Still we cant find the solution or answer to our questions.

When will i find the nearest shore?

2005-08-07T12:06:00.000+08:00

Have u been through love?Do u noe wad true love is?Or maybe u dun even noe wat love is.
You say love him or her, yet do you really? Or is he or she just a simple piece of perfection in company that you seek? A constant assurance that one will always be there? You say you love he or she with all your heart, yet is not the heart a mere cardinal rule to our very existence? Love does not on its own, for each and everyone of us has our very own lines of territory that we do not leave our impressions on. The heart, however, knows no rules, so why are we so sure love is not a segment of our minds to console our itch for companionship?

These questions might never be answered.Because there is no definite answer to this at all.Maybe answers are not the solutions to these questions..But it runs in everone of us.Should be there be someday..u become attracted to another party because of his or her uniqueness that intrigues u.Slowly the feelings grow and a strong sense of affection develop.To a point where u can define it as love in your own way.Love and hate is just a mere footline in between.If there is no hate then there wouldnt be love.We all love but the only thing that sets us apart is how much we love.They say if u truely love someone u can give up everything for the person because u want him or her to be happy and u wanna show ur sincerity. All this above is extracted from www.inzigna.blogspot.com (lol thanks lester)

Love is still the greatest thing on earth though.As part of growing up it's not uncommon to see how young teens like us are getting into relationships.But more often than ever usually becomes naught.At this age probably it's just puppy love just as people claim..or it's just we are too immature to actually handle this well.It's the mentality problem here.You expect the other party to love you in the same way..you want him or her to do things the way you think is right.Ultimately it just cause more and more problems that remain unsolved.Our ego is at work here..Then what's maturity?It doesn't mean that you can sacrifice for the one u love..or you will hold onto this relationshp till the end of time..that you don't treat love as a game etc etc that shows u are matured or anithing.Bullshit in fact.It's how you can really stand by the person silently and supporting him or her all the way..most importantly really letting go when such a time comes.That's because you want him or her to be happy. and if you can watch him or her holding hands with someone else yet still feel happy for her, that's love.I know it hurts to let go..bt if u 2 were meant to be together,he or she will comeback to you.Right now at this stage relationships won't work out.It just adds onto your insurmountable stress....whether it's cos of school work..from parents or your personal problems at hand.And this will affect your friendship with the person if u 2 break.And that sux totally.

Just felt like blogging on this topic again.Think it's favourite and hot topic nowadays.All the cupids and angels playing tricks on each and everyone of us.For those that are relationship now i wish you good luck.For those that are stil waiting out there..believe me.It's worth the wait.You will meet the special someone.Maybe not now.But in the coming future.But future isnt bleak.

2005-08-05T23:26:00.000+08:00

hahax.. my own blog is back! www.kriztenfer-devil.blogspot.com hahax so yupyup. force to post here by sumTING. hahax yupyup. todae's mood stil not too bad lahx. except angry over sum flopped bball shots. hahax. and er i went see doc todae abt my injury le. den got unexpected "illness" found. haha. oh well. i am weak?! hahahahaha okie den i write here first l8r mayb i continue! cyaz!

2005-08-03T20:30:00.000+08:00

Things jade in a few weeks.Just like mushrooms sprout in a day and die out after that.That's how life keeps changing.It never stops.

Take a step back and look back at the past.Slowly start to realise how much one has changed.From all the past experiences,whether sweet or bitter they are just but latent memories.We all say memories remain;but i beg to differ.Once it belongs to the thing of the past,it's gone forever.It's just an illusion after all.The environment changes;we people change and the situation and the past feeling will never be back the same anymore.What we can do is just to treasure the best moments in Life.Life is like a sparkler and those glorifying moments are short lived.

Cruel but we just have to face it bravely and live with it.When opportunities come your way grab hold of it and make the full use of it.Most importantly just don't have any regrets later on.I believe in giving your best in what you do;the result and outcome are just a bonus.(whether it turns out to be good or not.)Failure shldnt deter you from ur dreams.I know it's disappointing and you are on the verge of giving up.Many people feel that way.So do i.Ever thought of trying again?See it from a different light.Try from a different approach.Things might work out.

Just trying my best to think positive.But sometimes it's just deluding ourselves ultimately.People say they had never ever seen me shed a tear; probably i am the happy-go-lucky kind.Ask me why?It's just i just keep looking at things in a more optimistic manner?Right now at this moment mind's a whirl.I am just typing everything off my head.All the recent happenings made me just realise how lucky i am.Infact we all are.Just that we still bear grudges towards tests and assignments.Come to think of it those are trivial stuffs.We've all got our family to love us;a shelter over our little feather heads; and the fact that we can still blog goes to show how lucky we are to have computers in our own room.hah.

One of those wednesday blues.-sigh.Hey jm dun get wrong idea about what i asked u.-_-"It's just a casual question and u jumping to conclusions already.lol.No matter how bad it is for you,think positive.It's hard to really cheer up from all these.It takes time but try your best.And you don't have to change your personality.Every one is unique to all.You are you yourself.Discover the inner you.About conversing with her,let it come naturally.yeah.

think i bettter stop crapping now.Its like a thesis.>_<

2005-08-02T22:15:00.000+08:00

Bottled up inside; Are the words i never said. The feelings that i hide; The lines eu never read..
Yesterdays are over, even tho the hurting's not; Nothing lasts foreva, i hafta cherish wad i've got..

In a day i realise how bad i was to many people esp to eu-know-who. ventin my anger and mood swinging just aint the way outta pain. it wil jus bring more suffering to those around me. i haf learnt this lesson the hard way. and i hope i will be able to change in time to come. those empty promises and redunant apologies serve no purpose and hold no meanin if repeated. howeva this time i am realli serious abt reflectin and puttin on a new image.. a new me. the many masks i haf hidden beneath are being thrown away. be a kind soul and help mi~

anywae i master up all my courage and dedicated a song to boiboi. plus sum nice msg i tink. haha 2.50 is reali expensive. haha and i duno wad song izzt but er yea.. i hope she does do well for her interview and er.. sorrie. i know i had nvr been able to converse with eu well and that eu are more than jus fren in my heart. so yupyup.. i dun wana quarrel over this again. i like her and i hope even as frens we can b close. all the best k?

todae chem test was okie dokie la except i dint manage to do sum question coz no time. haha oh yea i wish all the best to taxy who is sumhow sleepin now to excel in chem test tml. haha suppose to wake her up summore! Lolx haha okie den.. shall end here.

long live blog.. long live me.. long live ting!

2005-08-02T20:20:00.000+08:00

I am drowning.Drowning in a carousel of thoughts again.

For the past 2 days shocking things had befallen.Not about me.But still i am affected.Quite badly shaken.I knew i had to intervene and stop my good buddy from making the wrong step.At least that 's what my instinct told me.This wasnt what he want but he's just creating destruction for himself.That's how people minds work.We tend to have this mentality:I am not given the chance.I cant do it.I want to quit.Don't try to stop me.All along i have planned this and what ever you say not gonna change anything.-sigh.That's not the main reason why he is doing it though.It's something else.But cant reveal too much details here.However in any case everything is falling into place and he's changed his mind.After all the persuasion and letters given..they managed to sound him out eventually.

Cool...Today made song dedication.One for 2J04 during recess with gwen..the other for 3b after school with kangqi and mingshuan.Jesse mccartney's beautiful soul and jayz-linkin park's numb encore =) Come on cheer people!haha.Damn nice but $2.50 very expensive sia.-_-" shucks.I am supposed to be piaing for physics and chinese right now.But heck first.Hey jm don't brood about your maths test le.Might as well summon the energy to do well for future tests instead.Brooding cause more wrinkles.And not to say more white hair.But it doesnt change anything at all.So cheer up.Don't stress yourself out.Btw sorry yesterday i went back on my word-i still overslept.Thanks for the million nudges u gave..i was the <-00->" that just couldnt drag myself out of bed.

Yeah this blog shall prevail.Continue to blog about Our own stories.Our lives.Ourselves.It's the recollection of all the memories that will remain etched.Peace out.

2005-08-01T19:24:00.000+08:00

yupyup. new blog new feelin..i wil do the blogskin as soon as possible tml got chem test. and todae maths test i totally flunk it lar. so forget it. my expectation re very high and this time, i am feelin damn moody. haix i wish i can be more carefree.

i haf learnt to pick myself up and be a more cheerful person after i read a kinda poster abt god's rainbow. it taught me how to look and tink more positively. i so wish that it wil happen to me. so for now, i wana apologise to taxy yet again for bein a mcp. i dint mean it k? sorrie. so well den.. i pray hard that this blog wil be my escape route outta reality. peace out.

2005-07-31T16:24:00.000+08:00

Hey people.

Rebirth of a new blog.Revamped.Refurnished.Something different cos it's a combined one.Feel honoured enough to be the first one blogging.Cos jm is nice enough to do up the blog skin and what i have to do is create a new account and crap away here.lol.Kinda ironical..at such late hours both of us are burning midnight oil at the moment.He's cooped up with his chinese compo and i am mugging chemistry.Good luck to you for the maths test tmr yeah?Gambatte minnasan!(jiayou!) --i am crossing my fingers for tmr's chemistry spa test though.

Dun worry.I cant find any teletubbies blogskin.(Harry potter is not childish.)Yeah ever since that long chat i realise we cant click.We got serious communication breakdown.Arent aquarius supposed to click?It doesnt seem to be the case here though.I wonder why..-ponders.

I am a total bummer.I am not about to write a 1000word thesis or something.Hey u blog soon too kk?Dun let this become stagnant =)

__[amethyst rainstar]__

[amethyst rainstar]